2005

Competition No 3872

You are poet laureate; give us verses to celebrate Charles and Camilla’s nuptials.

 

The Prince’s Weddin’

 

’E was warned agin’ ’er –

Mother just said No;

Now they’re getting’ married

The old girl won’t go.

Says it’s much too common,

Usin’ the Town-Hall;

Can’t have royal weddin’s

Free for one an’ all.

 

Yawn at the Prince’s weddin’ –

           Give ’em one yawn more!

Polo ponies in the lando

           An’ a clown is married to a bore.

 

The ’ole nation’s watchin’ –

It’s on the TV;

Now Camilla’s like Di

A ce-le-bri-ty!

She’ll make such a good wife,

No more on the shelf;

Squeezin’ out ’is toothpaste –

Can’t do it ’imself.

 

Yawn etc.

 

’Arry’s got ’is armband

Like great-uncle Ted;

’E may be a Nazi –

Good job ’e ain’t Red!

Others seem more tactful –

Think of Charlie’s Dad;

Soon she’ll find the ’ole gang

Are all rotten bad.

 

Yawn etc.

 

[After Rudyard Kipling, The Sergeant’s Weddin’]