• 2004: No 3858


    Competition No 3858

    We would like candid job ads along these lines: “Bullshitting egomaniac sought for national arts admin post.”


    Applications sought for the post of Vice-Chancellor of a major university (former Polytechnic). The essential  quality for this post is total lack of interest in any academic discipline; graduates in business studies and gymnasium management particularly welcome. Ability to treat employees like scum also necessary; senior police or army officers very suitable. Candidates with teenage children discouraged, as they may have some slight sympathy for the  plight of students. (An exception is made for abusive parents.) Interest in big cars and mergers with other institutions particularly welcome. Salary equal to fifty student loans; knighthood at the end of ten years.