2004

Competition No 3820

An extract from the Case of the Missing Weapons of Mass Destruction by Conan Doyle or any other famous detective-fiction writer.

 

‘More tea, vicar?’ enquired Miss Marple.

As she filled his cup he asked: ‘How is the investigation going?’

Miss Marple looked puzzled. ‘Oh! You mean the weapons of mass destruction. Well, that was never a mystery. They didn’t exist, quite simply. They may think we’re sleepy down here in St.. Mary Mead, but we were never fooled by that one. You were on the anti-war march yourself, were you not, vicar?’

He nodded. She continued: ‘So was I. Next to a very rowdy bunch from the Socialist Workers Party, unfortunately. But a splendid day. Rounded off with a glorious cream tea at dear old Bertram’s Hotel.’

Looking at her expensive Persian carpet with a self-satisfied gaze, she said: ‘WMD? Not enough mystery there for a short story, let alone a full-length novel with movie rights. But there is a real mystery.’

As the vicar looked enquiringly, she went on: ‘Yes, the real mystery is how the arrogant young fellow ever imagined he could get away with it. You’d need a brain like a bacon-slicer to solve that one.’