• 2004: No 3817


    Competition No 3817

    As one in three of us suffers from CWS (celebrity worship syndrome), we asked for a doctor’s case notes on a real or fictional character.


    Patient No 1649: Witchell, Nicholas.

    This is one of the worst cases I have seen  Ten years ago he was an intelligent, articulate young man who showed a lively interest in political and cultural matters at home and abroad. Now all these interests are blotted out by a clinical obsession with a single family.

    This family, living in publicly-funded housing, have an abnormally high divorce rate, and engage in grossly antisocial behaviour; there are rumours that a road accident some years ago was murder. Even the pets fight to the death.

    Yet for Witchell even their most banal actions exert a fascination. His intrusive conduct may lead him to infringe anti-stalking legislation. The family need seclusion. At present they are threatened by trespassers; private family parties are invaded by gatecrashers. For their sake alone Witchell must be sectioned.

    He shows pronounced similarities with patient No  1789 (Bond, Jennie), who after years of voyeurism went sensationally berserk, walking around without underwear, and eventually subjecting herself to humiliating exhibitionism.

    The only cure is aversion therapy. Witchell must be exposed to constant viewings of the family’s mother slowly clubbing a game bird to death until residual decency is awakened within him.