• 2002: No 3753


    Competition No 3753

    “We’re addressing the issue”, according to John Bird, is politicians’ code for “we can’t solve the problem “. We want more such.


    We’re going to go the extra mile for peace.

    The goddam military aren’t ready yet.


    The party has gone through an important sea change.

    It was a like a bloody shipwreck.


    This changes the whole parameters of the debate.

    We’re losing, so we’ve changed the rules.


    Since 9/11 everything has changed.

    Warmongering’s respectable now.


    Independent experts tell us…

    These guys are on the CIA’s payroll, not the government’s.


    We are doing everything we can.

    We’re helpless.


    It would be quite inappropriate for me to comment at this stage.

    My pager’s broken.


    No decision has yet been made.

    Alastair’s off sick.


    Modernise or die.

    We’re brain-dead already.


    We live in the real world.

    Remember who finances the party nowadays.


    We are a compassionate party.

    Don’t kick beggars if you’re on camera.


    We are an inclusive party.

    There are some poor sods earning under £50,000 a year.


    I shall carry on until the work has been completed.

    I’ve had another job offer, but I’m still trying to push up the salary.


    Make no mistake about what I am saying.

    You know I’m lying; I know you’ll quote me out of context.