• 1999: No 3586


    Competition No 3586

    “With the benefit of hindsight these were alarming signs of a twisted mind at work”. (The Times) We’d like 200 words on a twisted mind seen with hindsight.


    I know now I should have been suspicious from the start. I suppose I was flattered. She was a smart lass, good clothes, nicely spoken, way out of my class. But she did really talk as if she liked me. And she doted on my whippets and pigeons. When she said my cloth cap was chic I thought she was having a laugh; but she swore blind she meant it.

    Then  she was always asking funny questions. How about the  minimum wage – I only wished my boss would pay it. And the way she kept on about single mothers, I thought she must be up the stick.

    I should have seen what was coming. One night she kept trying to get me to drink French wine. I’ve drunk Tetley’s bitter all my life, and that foreign stuff goes to my head. I shudder now when I think how close I came to doing something I’d always regret. Luckily, I’d kept my wits about me and I spotted what was going on just in time.

    She wanted to sign me up to the Labour Party (winning back traditional core supporters, she called it). You can’t get more twisted than that.